So, there have been several arguments between the ace and LGBTQ community recently about representation of asexuals in the media and in society. I really don’t understand why it has to be an argument.

Apparently, some LGBTQ people are opposed to asexuals speaking out about misrepresentation, or lack of representation.

Their main argument is that when complaining about representation (or lack of), asexuals are somehow saying that their problems are worse than the problems of other queer people.

I don’t get this at all.

I am queer. I am a transgender woman who has a romantic attraction to other women. I have yet to see a positive portrayal of someone like me in the media or in society at large. However, I am also asexual. And I have yet to see a positive portrayal of an open asexual in the media either.

Now, I get that some asexuals in the past have said or made it clear that they think they should be more important or they have it worse than other sexual minorities, or that LGBTQ people don’t have problems with the media because they are visible and acknowledged. This is obviously wrong; while LGBTQ people are certainly visible, more often than not the heteronormativity still prevails, and LGBTQ people are treated differently and portrayed somewhat negatively. This is especially true with trans people like me.

However, I have seen some people taking the above opinion and applying it to asexuals who are just genuinely upset with invisibility and misrepresentation, and using it as an excuse to berate them. To make such an absurd leap of assumption is ridiculous in the first place. It genuinely confuses me, and it smacks of blanket prejudice against asexuals just for the sake of it.

Look, asexuals complaining about representation is in no way harming any other sexual minority, or their chances of getting representation of their own, UNLESS the asexual in question outright says something that is harmful.

Telling asexuals to “stop whining” every time they are upset about invisibility and misrepresentation is not fair.

Why should I be forced to ignore and keep silent about problems regarding one part of my identity just because other parts cause me greater problems and are more likely to get me discriminated against?

And your situation as a sexual minority is not going to get any better by telling another sexual minority to shut up and go away.

This goes for aces, too: telling LGBTQ people that they shouldn’t be complaining about representation as much as you, or that they have it better than you, is not right.

We should ALL be working for better representation of ALL sexual minorities, EQUALLY.

I would really like to have a positive, non-stereotypical trans and queer role model in the media to look up to.

I would also love a positive, non-stereotypical asexual role model to look up to.

Both of these things have caused me to think I am broken and sick. I need both role models to tell me that both of these things are totally OK.